Blog

Travel solo, or maintain your relationship? You DON’T have to choose

/ annagramsey / 1 Comment

Why Relationships and Independent Experiences are NOT Mutually Exclusive

I came across this article the other day that made me say YES, THANK YOU! Finally, someone else understands. The author describes her frustration with the common viewpoint that it’s impossible to travel alone without inviting infidelity into your relationship, and I whole-heartedly agree with her.

Contrary to popular opinion, traveling or living abroad and being in a happy, monogamous relationship are NOT mutually exclusive. Yes, it has been very difficult being thousands of miles away from the one I love, but it’s been worth it for all that I’ve learned and how much I’ve grown as a person. I’ve had more than a few critics and skeptics, both at home and here in Argentina, and it’s discouraging that so many people misunderstand and react judgmentally.

Traveling abroad solo is NOT always about intrigue and torrid affairs. It’s about challenging yourself, growing as an individual, getting out of your comfort zone, and discovering what you love about you.

Having been in a relationship for six years, starting at the age of 19, in some ways I felt that I hadn’t yet really experienced “grown-up” life without my boyfriend by my side, and it was important for me to know what it’s like to navigate the world on my own. In addition to the fact that coming to Argentina to teach English for a year was a very positive way for me to gain career experience, it was also an important step for me to take in terms of self-discovery and feeling comfortable as an independent individual.

However, it would have been completely insane to throw away an amazing relationship for the sake of my travels, or vice-versa. I knew I would regret it if I gave up this important personal experience for the sake of avoiding the challenges that come with being long-distance. So why not do both? It is, in fact, possible.

When we think of solo travel, we imagine what we see in movies or read in romance and adventure novels. Staying in beautiful villas or cool hostels, meeting sexy, exciting people from all over the world, riding a moped around a city bathed in golden sunset light, staying out all night dancing, etc. These are what we tend to picture. But the realities are often much different.

We don’t think about the feeling of empty dread in the pit of your stomach when you’re sitting alone on the plane, thinking “What the hell did I sign myself up for?” Or when you arrive in your new city and have to figure out how to get where you’re going, all in a new language. Or when you arrive at your new apartment and put your stuff away, only to realize, “Wow, I really am all alone here.” Or when you’ve been in a new city for a month, but still haven’t made any real friends. How you cope in those situations is what really makes the experience. It’s hard as hell, and often really not fun at all, but you learn a heck of a lot about yourself and about the realities of the world.

You may go out dancing a few times, which, yes, is fun. But the appeal of foreign clubs dwindles quickly when you realize that you’re surrounded by aggressive men who don’t give a shit if you have a boyfriend or not, the vast majority of which are far less charming and far more creeptastic than Javier Bardem or Hugh Grant would have you believe. After one wasted Sunday spent sleeping and reflecting on the fact that you felt more uncomfortable than carefree being in da club til 7AM, cooking dinner with friends and some wine is much more likely to become your Saturday night routine. (Or staying in and watching Netflix on your laptop alone…did I mention it’s pretty hard to make actual friends in a different country?)

The point is, what people picture when you tell them you’re going abroad solo and what you end up actually doing are very, very different.

If your relationship is worth it, it will be solid and filled with enough trust, respect and mutual understanding to withstand long periods of time apart. If it’s not, then yes, it could be better to break up and take on your adventures once you’re single. But if you have an important relationship, why can’t you have your individual experiences and maintain your bond, as well? It really doesn’t have to be one or the other.

I have met lots of people (mainly women), who have told me that they wish they could or would have done some independent travel of their own, but their boyfriend wouldn’t “let” them, or they didn’t want to be away from their significant other that long. I’m not saying it’s easy by any means, and it’s not for everyone. But if self-discovery and having independent experiences is important to you, and your mate is the right person for you, they will understand and be happy for you. And there’s no reason why you can’t do it.

There will always be that distant aunt who has no idea where you’re going and what you’re doing. Surely, she’s picturing you dancing the night away in a short red dress in Ibiza or something rather than living frugally, working with kids, and being lonely but learning a whole lot about the world. And surely, she and others will make snarky comments to you and your significant other about how they’re being played for a fool or how they’re sure to leave you while you’re away. But the important thing is that you and your significant other know and trust each other well enough to know that that couldn’t be farther from the truth. If that’s the case, you will emerge on the other side with a bond that is stronger than ever as a result of, rather than in spite of, your adventure.

Mean-Girls-GIF-Kevin-G-Dont-Let-The-Haters-Stop-You-From-Doing-Your-Thang1

In the words of Kenny G, don’t let the haters stop you from doing your thang. We are young, and have plenty of time to settle down. Experience life, but don’t throw away a good relationship for the sake of doing so. If you put in the work, you really can have both.

Want to live abroad? Things to consider and where to start

/ annagramsey / Leave a comment

Since I’ve embarked on my adventures here, I have had several curious friends and acquaintances ask me about how I decided to come to Argentina, how I found my program, and basically, where to start if they were to begin a similar journey. I, too, was very confused at the start of this whole process, so I’ll try to share some knowledge and tips here to get you started if you are interested in teaching abroad or pursuing other abroad opportunities for an extended period of time.

  1. Know your Objective

Are you looking to travel? Teach? Escape from reality? Challenge yourself? Work in your current industry, but in a foreign city? Break into a new career field? Learn something knew? Generally frolic and go wherever the wind takes you? You could and probably do have more than one answer to that question, but knowing what you are hoping to get out of your experience will help guide you a lot. If you are a free-spirited wanderluster hoping to travel as much as possible and not be tied down in any one place, you might want to think twice before getting an actual job abroad, unless its at a hostel or some other more transient situation. If you are hoping to gain career experience, try to identify specifically what you’d like to learn and weigh that in your choice of job/program and location. If you don’t like kids, don’t choose to teach!

While browsing your options, it can be easy to fall into the mindset that the program or activity you will be doing while in your country of choice is just a means to an end in order to get yourself there. It’s important to realize that while you will surely be experiencing your new country like a big adventure, you will also have to actually work and deal with realities of daily life while you’re there, so it’s important to choose a path to living abroad that you will genuinely enjoy.

  1. Consider your Budget/Income Possibilities

Obviously, you will need some savings to travel/live abroad, no matter what you are actually going to be doing. However, different approaches require different budgeting plans, ideas of income, and how you will support yourself.

General Travel/Backpacking

If you have a whole bunch of savings set aside for this purpose, you are good to go, and can explore options such as general backpacking/hostel jumping from place to place, with the expectation of maybe picking up an odd-job here and there. This may sound dubious, but trust me, especially in Latin America, people don’t care so much about “breaking the rules” and you will probably be able to find some sort of part-time work, whether its in a hostel or restaurant or teaching private English lessons.

Teaching

If you are interested in teaching abroad, there are tons of options, and you need to narrow down what works best for you in terms of your goals and your budget. Many programs pay you a small “salary” (often in the range of approximately $700-800 USD per month), but then you are responsible for finding your own housing and living off that stipend plus whatever other savings you want to support yourself on. In many Latin American countries, that amount is enough to pay a modest rent and live frugally, but if you want to travel or go out it’s very likely you will need either a side hustle or savings.

Some programs, like mine, offer you room and board in exchange for your work, but pay you next to nothing, in which case savings or side hustle are also necessary for any expenses beyond the basics.

There are also lots of people who avoid going through a program all together and complete a TEFL course (either online or in their destination) which then helps them search for jobs. This could end up being more lucrative in the long-run if you score an actual job at a local school or language institute, but you also have to consider the stress/your backup plan if you end up being able to land a job because often times, TEFL courses will “assist” you with a job search, but don’t guarantee you’ll get one.

The “flying solo” approach is similar to the TEFL course option, although I’d only recommend this to people who either have already taught abroad in the past, or are very familiar with their destination and have contacts there/a very strong backup plan.

Other Options

There are many alternatives to teaching abroad, such as volunteering, interning, or some other form of work experience, and may allow you to customize the length of time you want to stay in a certain place. The budget you’ll need for these different options varies, but many of them offer housing/food in exchange for volunteer work (such as WWOOFING or various NGO’s).

Some organizations that accept volunteers cover your food and housing, some pay you a small stipend but require you to find your own housing and buy your own food, and others may be purely volunteer based, and offer no payment or benefits. This brings us back again to objective: do you REALLY want to work in a specific area for a specific cause, and have savings with which you could support yourself? Or is reimbursement a pre-requisite to you being able to go? If you look long and far enough, you may be able to find something in between.

Finally, of course, if you are able to get an actual job-job abroad, you will be making a real salary and then your hurdles will have more to do with getting a work visa in your country of employment rather than figuring out how you will feed yourself.

  1. Choosing your Destination (General and Specific)

If you are seriously considering moving or traveling abroad for an extended period of time, chances are you have a destination (or few) in mind. Just like in steps 1) and 2), it is important to consider the realities of daily living in a different country and your objective there rather than just focusing on daydreams inspired by Pinterest and postcards.

All places, even beautiful, seemingly other-worldly ones, have risks, annoyances, and cultural differences that will greatly shape your experience when you actually get there. I’m sure you don’t want to move abroad to a miserable place, but it’s important to realize that the way you envision a place may not be 100% accurate.

Is your objective to learn and gain experience or to forget your worries and have a blast? I personally struggled a lot when deciding between teaching in Spain or in Latin America. Having studied abroad in Spain in college, I fell in love with the place and have been daydreaming about returning ever since I left. However, I knew that I would likely learn a lot more and have perhaps a more enriching experience if I went to Latin America. Ultimately, I chose the latter. While I have certainly had moments of being like, “Wow, Spain probably would be a whole lot nicer and more relaxing than what I’m experiencing right now…”, I still think I 100% made the right choice. While living in Argentina has been a lot more gritty and challenging than my time in Spain, I have learned a whole lot more from the experience. My satisfaction with my decision goes back to my original goal, which was to get out of my comfort zone, learn, and grow as a person, and I’m happy to say that I have done just that.

Bubble, Voids and Comfort Zones: Seizing the Moment to Create Your Best Life, Wherever You Are

/ annagramsey / Leave a comment

For me, one of the biggest challenges (and best lessons) of being here has been how to create the life you want when you are starting from square one.

In theory, I would have already done that when graduating from college – you enter the “real world” and it’s up to you to create the life you want, starting from a blank slate.

My slate was theoretically as blank as anyone else’s in that exciting yet terrifying moment of life. However, when I moved to DC, I was surrounded by an already well-established group of friends. At the time, I needed this cushion of comfort.

After spending some of the best times of my entire life in college, I was scared to leave all that behind and face the prospect of things “never being the same again”. Of course, it was true. I never would be in the same situation again. Now, I can see the pros and cons to that more clearly, but at the time, it was terrifying and I felt as though my entire world was crashing down around me and that I would never truly have “real” fun again.

Afraid of change, I clung to the remnants of my old life and hastily assembled a makeshift new one from fragments of what would and never could be the same. I was too paralyzed to see that this approach wouldn’t be as satisfying as building a new one that was new and solid and independent.

Leaving college is scary. When you’re a student, you live in this perfect vacuum where you’re constantly surrounded by your best friends as well as a pool of like-minded peers that you can choose from if you want to meet new people. Everything is pretty set up for you and life is like a comfy little bubble. When you hit the “real world”, however, things change. A lot.

When I graduated, it was like the bubble popped, and I felt like I was gasping for air as the iridescent pink walls of said bubble deflated around me. How would I ever have “real” fun again without 80’s parties, toga parties, day parties, and under-the-sea parties every weekend? How would I survive my chronic FOMO without having 20+ girlfriends available on speed dial at all times to accompany me for any activity imaginable, whether it be a long run, Tuesday night pitchers, late night library time or stuffing our faces with popcorn at 3AM while watching Aristocats? (I know, #tragic – the epitome of White Girl Problems. Try not to judge me!)

But still. I was sad.

Desperate to keep the shiny bubble alive, I swaddled myself in college friends in my new city and began a sort of adult life with training wheels. And don’t get me wrong, it was awesome! Even out of college, my friends are amazing and we have a ton of fun together.

But, while I was clinging to the old me, I forgot to work on building the new me, the adult that I would become. After a few years of this combined with a job that left me feeling un-fulfilled, I felt…empty. I wasn’t learning new things or growing. I was afraid to branch out and meet new people. Friday nights consisted of either yet another trashy TV marathon over some sort of carby concoction, or a night out within a one-mile radius of my apartment at one of three bars filled with people EXACTLY. LIKE. ME.

The strange Stepford-y reality of this new, make-shift “adult bubble” didn’t dawn on me until after I left, and then came back a few months later for a visit.

Of course, this wasn’t the fault of my friends or my coworkers or anyone else in my surroundings. DC is an amazing city filled with opportunity and diversity. But, because I had limited myself by only sticking with what I was comfortable with, I missed out on a lot of those opportunities.

After having been away from everything familiar to me for a while, coming back to something SO familiar was really strange and kind of depressing. It really freaked me out to be standing in a bar in a sea of people who could have been clones of me and my friends. In that moment I realized how good it has been for me to get away for a while and do something TOTALLY different. I needed to get comfortable out of my comfort zone in order to realize what things I want in my life and what things I don’t, and Argentina has definitely given me that perspective.

At the same time, it has made me appreciate all the things that ARE familiar to me so much more. Working stoves, actual use of turn signals on the highway, stop signs, cockroach-free houses, public bathrooms that have soap and TP, being able to (mostly) trust that if you call the police, they will help you rather than making things worse, and general organization in society all seem like such beautiful things now. Not to mention, having spent so much time away from people who see the world in the same way I do makes me CHERISH moments with my loved ones and even just anyone who’s a native English speaker.

However, being uncomfortable and being the different one in any given social situation has opened my eyes and pushed me out of the nest when it comes to where I will look for new friends in the future and how I want to spend my time when I get back home.

Being totally on my own has forced me to focus on filling my time with things that matter to me and make me happy. Because as much as I love Netflix, having binge-watching as your primary hobby is no way to go through life.

In Luján, I joined the gym for circuito classes. Not only did I love it, but it made me feel like myself again and gave me a routine to get motivated about in a town that was otherwise completely foreign to me and made me feel a bit depersonalized. Doing something I know and love allowed me to feel like myself again in what started out as a complete void.

Also, I learned another important lesson: that the best friends are sometimes unexpected. On paper, you may have very little in common with a person. However, if you bond over even one or two things, you might be surprised at how much you actually DO have in common, regardless of age, relationship status, motherhood, upbringing, etc.

Often, these unexpected friendships can be just as deep or even deeper than a casual relationship with a friend who may have everything in common with you on paper, but ultimately doesn’t push you to grow or think differently because you are already so similar.

It’s weird how places that start out as a void quickly turn into new bubbles, so it’s important to focus on what you do and don’t want to include in your new reality. Although there will always be things that are out of our control, it’s up to you to be the architect of your own life as much as you can.

Here in Madryn, it has been a challenge making new friends and getting involved in stuff in what is yet again a completely blank slate for me – and I’m still working on taking my own advice. Last night I went to a yoga class, and although it was in Spanish and in a completely new place, doing something familiar yet invigorating with totally new people once again made me feel totally alive and in the present. That has been another of my biggest challenges here. Its difficult to enjoy the moment while consumed with simultaneous homesickness and stress about what I’m going to do with my life when I get back home.

The yoga class was a good step toward my goal – embracing every moment I have to make the most of my new foreign bubble, because before I know it, it will pop again, and I want to come out on the other side stronger, more proactive and more self-aware than ever before.

24 Crazy Things I’ve Learned So Far About Luján (and Argentina in general)

/ annagramsey / Leave a comment

Coming to another country is always sure to involve some culture shock, but when I came to Argentina I really didn’t know what to expect. This is a list of things I have observed and been told about so far during my time here. Argentina is a wild and wooly place! (Disclaimer: obviously, these are observations coming from my own perspective. They are meant to be lighthearted, the impressions of a recently-arrived shanqui, so if you are Argentine, please don’t take these the wrong way! We’re all friends here 🙂 )

  1. No one gives a crap about the rules, about being organized, or about the fact that whoever is supposed to know the rules doesn’t enforce them and often decides to make up random new ones on the spot.
  2. A lot of the police are corrupt. I was told that if you ever find yourself looking to take a romantic pit stop with your special someone, don’t. Apparently cops (especially the local ones here in Luján) have been known to arrest, then kidnap and rape, women in this situation. As an alternative, go to a telo! (See No. 8)
  3. It takes little to no training or education requirements to join the police force in this country. This probably explains No. 2, as well as the fact that we were told that if you ever get pulled over, just slip the cop a 100 peso bill and you’re off the hook. This also probably explains the policeman we saw driving in the middle of three lanes in capital, while simultaneously smoking, eating a sandwich and talking on his cell phone, with no seatbelt, while flashing his blue lights. Why leave all the fun to those lawless citizens, right?
  4. The Luján riverfront is sketchy as F—this is what happens when corrupt government officials decide what gets invested in and what doesn’t.
  5. It floods in Luján (like much of Buenos Aires Province), at least twice a year, and often the flooding reaches up to 7 or 8 blocks away from the river, right where my house is! (Yaaaaaay)
  6. The cockroach should be the national animal of Argentina (or atleast BA Province…) They are freaking everywhere. It doesn’t matter how rich you are or how clean or beautiful your home is. They are everywhere.
  7. A public bathroom with a working toilet, soap, AND toilet paper? SCORE!
  8. Traffic rules don’t exist, nor do stoplights, street lanes, stop signs, or street signs in most places. There are also no seatbelts in the majority of cars. And to cross an intersection, people just flash their lights or play a shameless game of chicken to see who will actually slow down slightly just in the nick of time.
  9. There are literal sex hotels (called Telos) that exist solely for the purpose of getting down, with rooms that can be rented by the hour. Everyone–from sneaky teenagers to philanderers, from parents looking for privacy to priests, swings by these places to get their love on…which brings me to…. Number 10:
  10. Everyone cheats on everyone here, and no one gives a damn if you are taken. Relationship status is barely a bump in the road for an Argentine on the prowl.
  11. The fact that so many people are so thin blows my mind, especially since the typical Argentine diet seems to consist of cookies, dulce de leche, whole milk, milanesas (aka fried steak), pasta, mashed potatoes, steak, gnocci, more dulce de leche, pastries, wine, and the best ice cream you’ve ever tasted. In the wise words of one Haystacks Calhoun, “Dulce de Leche is the Sriracha sauce of desserts: It’s hard to name anything that wouldn’t be improved by it.”
  12. No one wears helmets, ever (on a motorcycle or normal bike), and five people seems to be the full capacity of a motorbike (and hey, why not bring the baby along!)
  13. Expats who are natives of any Anglo-based culture (Brit, Aussie, Kiwi, Yankee, Canuck, you name it) are essentially alcoholics compared to Argentines, who may sip one glass of wine, Gancia or Fernet for over an hour.
  14. The economy is so jacked up from inflation, and the peso is so ridiculously low in value compared to other world currencies, that a vast number of Argentines (even those who speak near perfect English) have never left the country, even to go to Uruguay, which is a hop, skip and a jump across the river from Buenos Aires.
  15. The ABSURD contrast between the haves and the have-nots. Gated “country club” neighborhoods with insane security and houses that look like they popped out of Greenwich, CT with immaculate lawns, pools, tennis courts and Mercedes parked in the driveway are situated 100 yards away over the fence from shantytown slums with dirt roads, houses made of falling-apart plywood and plastic and piles of burning trash outside. The shiny, elegant streets of Recoleta are less than a kilometer from highway-side half-finished buildings with no back wall and no running water where you can see straight into people’s home from the highway. LandRovers driven by bottle-blonde trophy wives share the road with horse drawn carriages driven by a woman under 25 with no teeth and four barefoot children filling the cart with trash from the side of the road.
  16. The electricity regularly goes out in neighboring General Rodriguez because people set up illegal businesses and tap into the town electricity wires via DIY jobs, resulting in the best case scenario in a temporary blackout and in the worst-case scenario in a fatal explosion.
  17. Children regularly get kidnapped in shopping malls, and then sold for various gruesome reasons on the international black market.
  18. There are stray dogs EVERYWHERE and I’m still shocked that they seem to have figured out a mutual system with cars, motorcyclists and bicyclists, and somehow manage to avoid being run over at the last second.
  19. Abortion is illegal in Argentina, oral contraception is hard to come by and often frowned upon. Weed is legal in Uruguay.
  20. Private schools are the only schools available for full day education and care. Public schools are only available either in the morning or in the afternoon, not both. Makes it kind of difficult for a lower-income parent to move up in a career and eventually make more money…while already higher income families are able to benefit from both parents being able to work all day long while their kids are at school.
  21. The difference between private hospitals and public hospitals is INSANE… (although some public hospitals are great, if someone in the government decides they feel like giving them money)
  22. Apparently, the fact that a lot of people are still traumatized from the dictatorship in the 1970’s is the reason why they don’t discipline their children too much – because they believe it’s too reminiscent of a military regime.
  23. The 80 and 90’s have either made a SERIOUS comeback, or never ended. See: the insane popularity of rollerblading, mullets, shiny bowling shirts, scrunchies, acid-wash jeans, platform shoes, and stupid slogan t-shirts.
  24. The gym teachers at the school look exactly like these guys: ziriguidum

The Power of a Pink Post-It: The ups and downs of working with Argentine kids

/ annagramsey / Leave a comment

Little by little, things have been looking up. I honestly do love being at San Patricio, despite the chaos.

One day, after a particularly tough bought of homesickness, when I had been in the midst of that punched-in-the-stomach pit of loneliness, and was seriously asking myself what I possibly thought could be gained from this, an adorable eight year old named Luisa presented me with this:

IMG_1851_2

Who knew a sticky note could have so much power 🙂

I instantly felt better, and reminded myself why I’m here

It’s hard. And it’s supposed to be hard. And that’s part of the point. But the little moments like these remind me of what I want to learn from this experience – figuring out at least some parts of the life I really want for the long–term. And I’ve discovered the insanely refreshing beauty of doing something for work that genuinely makes you smile every day – and that this possibility actually exists.

Even the days when I’ve been thrown unsuspectingly in with the tiny demons (especially the second graders…), I take a deep, solid inhale (after 5 un-interrupted hours of insane stress and adrenaline), and I smile. Hell, I even laugh.

“Meees! How do you say ‘el shopping’ in English?”

“Um, ‘Shopping Center’, Olivia. ‘Shopping’ is an English word.”

“Meees! In my holidays, I go to Deeeesnay with my fam-i-lee, and we stay at Howard Shonson”

“Wow, that’s great, Facundo, but can you say ‘Howard JOHNSON’?”

“Howard SSShonson”

“Meeees, sos de China?”

“Ummmmm…..no, Maria Luz, what do you think?”

Howard Shonson

I can just have finished four hours of screaming “Coco! Toto! Felipe! Santiago! Santino! MARIA!!! SIT DOWN AND STOP HITTING EACH OTHER!”, and one of the kids (even sometimes one of the trouble makers I was yelling at an hour earlier) will come up and give me a hug and I feel 10x more fulfilled than I ever did leaving my old office building.

Luckily, these hilarious and heartwarming moments are mixed in every day with the bad and the ugly.

Some of these kids are so messed up, and have serious issues, and the lack of even the slightest enforced discipline or regard for authority for some of them makes me worry for their future and wonder how a society can function with kids that are brought up like this. These kids are 100% at the top of the social hierarchy in this town, so I can only imagine what kind of messed up issues some of the kids in some of the poorer public schools here come in with, but the rich kids have their own brand of problems.

Moms and Dads who are never emotionally present (and constantly jetting off to New York while a family 100 yards away lives in a plastic shack…), yet shower their kids with the newest iPad or whatever, resulting in their child doing whatever it takes to be noticed. I can only imagine how some of them must behave at home with their poor niñeras. If their parents don’t give a crap and let them do whatever they want, (even if its purely by lack of being there to say “no” or model what good behavior is), how they hell does anyone think they are going to listen to a teacher telling them to follow the most basic classroom rules like sitting in their seat, not yelling over others when they try to talk, and not hitting their classmates?

Since when can a seven year old look at an adult with the eyes of an arrogant, pompous grown man and make you feel like an insecure, blithering idiot??? Since when does a kid blatantly and intentionally ignore a teacher who is calling him by name and making direct eye contact from just across the desk? You can spot these kids from a mile away, and after you’re done being infuriated by them, it’s impossible not to feel incredibly saddened. By yourself for caving in to yelling, but not knowing what else to do as an alternative, at their parents for raising them this way, at the school for allowing this shit to fly, and at them for being a tiny asshole! And at the fact that this is where our society is heading (at least a whole bunch of it…)

But so many of them are so, so, so freaking sweet, smart, kind and funny. And watching them learn and grow and improve even on a week-to-week basis puts a huge smile of my face.

I used to feel like I was stuck in an endless rat race, like I was spending countless hours doing nothing but slowly getting older, and not gaining much from it. Pry myself out of bed, painfully exhausted, race to work, spend all day in a weird purgatory of the longest day ever in which nothing happened at all, waiting for the countless hours to pass before I could race home, stress out, stay up too late watching stupid reality TV as I tried to forget my woes, and then go to bed anxious and exhausted so I could do it all again the next day. At this school, I feel happy and excited and like I’m really LIVING and doing something that matters every day. I can see my efforts paying off, and the reasons why I’m there are right in front of me with their goofy (sometimes devilish) gapped smiles.

Knowing that there’s even a shred of a possibility that something I said or I did made a tiny impact on them makes me feel like I’m doing something real – a huge, huge change for me, and one I need to hold on to.

Narrowly dodging the ketchup bottle…and trying not to sink

/ annagramsey / Leave a comment

The first few weeks have been…tough, to say the least.

The school is definitely a lot of fun, and by far the best thing about being here so far, although I definitely feel like a fish out of water. It’s a pretty big difference from my former life in multiple ways…good and bad.

The good: Being surrounded by smiling children who all speak in cute Argentine accents, stepping outside between every class in the lovely sunny courtyard, hearing Castellano everywhere, and spending all day at work interacting with people directly makes me feel so much more alive than I did in my former daily life.

(Side-note: is it me or are kids with accents automatically 10x cuter? I spent some time with my Irish second cousins last year who are ages 10 and 12 and those mini brogues of theirs upped their already intense cuteness level to about 1000%.)

The bad: The Argentine version of “organization” at an administrative level is pretty much non-existent…laughable even. The first few weeks of teaching have consisted of me frantically wandering around campus trying to figure out where I should be at any given time, since the “schedule” they gave me changes every single day and it seems that no one ever knows anything about what’s going on or who’s supposed to be where at what time, or even whom I can ask to find out.

My fellow teachers are kept just as much in the dark about everything as I am, so if I can’t figure out where I “should” be, I usually just pick a class and go there until one of the administrators tracks me down. This usually progresses to being scolded, “Yes, of course, darling, you should be in Marcela’s class in Quinquela Martin now! Yes yes yes. Thank you” [Walks away].

nuni

Oh, of course, silly me!! Sorry, Nuni, I forgot my mind-reading pills today. Just a few questions… Who is Marcela? Which classroom is that? Who’s Quinquela Martin? Which grade is that? What are they working on? Is there a book I should have? Do I stay just one period or more? When is the period over? Where do I go next?

And… it gets even better. In a few instances, after this course of events, I have arrived at said mystery classroom (after I finally figure out where it is…) only to discover that – Surprise! – the teacher I’ve never met is absent. YAY!! “Okay,” they say, dropping me like a piece of bait into a piranha tank of 8 year olds, “let us know if you need anything!”

Umm….just a few things!!

The first time this happened, it was a fourth grade class of hyperactive locos. It deteriorated almost immediately after the kids quickly realized I had no idea what they were working on in class, and my attempt at covering the most basic topic using goofily drawn cartoons on the board failed miserably.

“MEEEEEEES!! MEEEEEES! NO ENTIENDOOO! NO QUIEROOOO”, they shout like a chorus of angry baby geese. They make fun of my accent, hit each other, throw things, roll around on the floor, shout over me, steal each other’s pencil cases, and I end up shouting at them in a weird mix of Spanish and English which just makes them laugh at me even more. I try to appease them by playing a game of Pictionary on the chalkboard, but that goes downhill just as quickly as they practically kill each other fighting over who is on whose team and which team gets which side of the room.

After shouting doesn’t work (and I feel terrible after having given in to that in the first place), I try a new approach of waiting patiently with my arms crossed for them to be quiet, until Bauti is hitting Lauti because he ripped his book, and I have to dive in and physically separate them, yelling “BASTA!! Chicos!! No peleamos en clase!!” to which they collapse in a fit of giggles. Despite what I thought was my relatively good level of Spanish, I probably sound like Borat to these kids.

borat

UGH! This one particular morning was topped off by a lovely experience in the cafeteria, where the babysitting continued. I was sitting at the head of the table after finally getting the mini Argentines to sit down and start eating in relative peace. I’m minding my own business and focusing intently on my salad from the salad bar (which is actually really good!), when I look up to see four or five of these same boys all leaning in staring at me and silently giggling as they sit with a ketchup bottle ready, aimed and about to fire straight at me. THANK GOD, I looked up right before the iron eight-year-old dirty fist squelched down on the bottle and narrowly avoided being showered with ketchup on my 5th day at the school.

That was definitely one of the moments when I almost cried, although I held it together in public, luckily.

But these past couple of weeks have involved lots more crying than I ever thought I would do. Turns out, moving halfway across the world and having only one friend that you just met is Really, REALLY lonely. I should have known this before I left, and on some level, I did, but I have never experienced such long-standing homesickness and loneliness like this.

I always have a really tough time with transitions and I have always hated saying goodbye to people and places I love, but usually once I arrive in the new place I get comfortable really quickly, almost in an “out of sight, out of mind” kind of way. Even when I went away to college, I felt instantly comfortable and at home. Coming here was a different story.

It sometimes feels like I’m in a box of isolation at the bottom of the ocean, and I can see my loved ones and the comfort of my former life through the blurry surface of the water far above me, but I have no hope of swimming to the top. And it was my choice to dive down here. In fact, I had been daydreaming about and planning for this dive for the past decade of my life!

As hard as it is, I know that I came here for a reason, and that I’ve had this dream for a reason. This whole experience will surely be transformative in some way, I just need to ride it out and accept the discomfort until I figure out what the point of all this will be.

Buenos Aires- el primer dia

/ annagramsey / 1 Comment

So, here I am! After years and months of daydreaming about this, planning it out, and worrying, I am finally here! In typical fashion, my preparation process was crazy and involved lots of fretting and very little sleep. I almost missed my flight due to car difficulties followed by a wild and wooly cab ride from Brooklyn to JFK (and a tour of all 7 terminals), but ultimately, I made it, and the flight itself turned out to be really easy and relaxed. The huge Aerolineas Argentinas plane had this cool blue lighting everywhere and all the windows were shut, so it felt like nighttime even though it was about 3PM, and I barely even noticed when we took off. I also had the amazing fortune of getting an aisle seat next to an unoccupied middle seat, thanks to  some Yale rugby bros asking to switch with my window seat, which for an 11 hour flight was fine by me.

The airline food was actually really good, although after no sleep and no time to eat anything all day, I would have scarfed down anything. The free white wine didn’t hurt either…

I arrived at EZE in Buenos Aires at 4:20 AM, and after a very breezy customs process, met up with the driver from Connecting Worlds and was successfully delivered to Elibet and Roberto’s apartment in La Recoleta.

Elibet is the mother of my sister-in-law Marianne, (married to my brother Ben), and Roberto is her adorable husband. This family connection is one of the many reasons why I chose this program, since Lujan, where I will be living for the next four months, is right next to Carlos Keen, the town where Elibet and Roberto have a weekend house. Elibet plus Marianne and Ben and their family know Lujan well, so I knew I would have some connections once I got here.

So far, I can’t tell you how happy I am to be here with them and how awesome it is that they’re hosting me! I feel a little homesick and jumbled up showing up here alone, and I can only imagine what it would be like if I didn’t have this connection! Not to mention that they are amazing people and so incredibly nice and fun to be around. I am in good hands!

I am staying here in their apartment just for tonight, and then tomorrow, the program begins and I will go to Hostel el Sol (which I think is pretty close by) to meet up with the rest of the group from Connecting Worlds.

After arriving at the apartment around 6AM and crashing until 1:30PM, I finally feel more caught up on sleep. Elibet arrived from New York today, too, a few hours after me, after visiting Ben and Marianne and the boys for a few weeks. We had lunch in the kitchen with Roberto, and then Elibet and I went down to a café on the corner (La Monet) with LuLu, la madre de Elibet, para tomar un café.

Lulu is a riot and absolutely fabulous. She is 87 years old, and acts like a lovestruck teenager talking about her boyfriend and all their drama. Her old boyfriend, Ángel, apparently died about a year ago, although she seems to have moved on, and I don’t think the family was a huge fan of his anyway…

She has a new novio now, and it sounds like he had to fight off some other dude to win her heart, so she’s pretty much killing it no matter what. It was awesome sitting at La Monet and feeling the warm breeze, chatting with Elibet and Lulu like we were old girlfriends, and watching all the people passing by. Calle Quintana is beautiful, with towering trees dripping with green (especially striking after nothing but WHITE and dirty snow back at home). After our café, Elibet and Lulu encouraged me to take a little walk through the neighborhood and down to the park, so I did just that.

Walking along alone in a totally new city was kind of surreal, but I did feel totally safe, and it was nice to have some time to just hear myself think after the past few weeks of craziness leading up to my departure. The park is only about three blocks away and it was gorgeous. A pretty little church in the middle with a market set up and winding all through the park, which is made up of rolling little hills, trees and flowers. I wandered around for about an hour, stopping to watch some bands and sitting on the grass for a while trying to tomar el sol to catch up with the Argentines in an attempt to cancel out my February pastiness. I must have blended well enough though, because I was only approached twice, once asking if I wanted to make a donation and once asking me directions, both times in Spanish, so I guess I didn’t stick out like a total gringa. Everyone here is pretty European-looking though, so with my height and my light hair I don’t stick out like a sore thumb quite as much as I thought I might.

After a dinner of empanadas from el Sanjuanino and some prosecco with Elibet and Roberto, I think it’s time for sleep on my first night in Argentina!

Hasta Pronto,

Anna