Life

How the company you keep can affect your health

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The other day, a friend of mine asked me a question as she was preparing a health class for her students:

What do you think makes the biggest impact on your health: Your genes, your lifestyle choices or your environment?

I quickly jumped to “lifestyle choices”. Yes, your genes and family history may impact things about your health that you have little control over, but with a healthy lifestyle and conscious choices, you can lower your risks significantly. Same with your environment. You may not be able to control the amount of pollution in your city, or whether there’s a suspicious chemical lurking in your coffee mug, but you can make up for those things with regular exercise and a healthy diet, right?

I still think that lifestyle choices make the biggest impact on one’s health, but in the past month or so I have realized how much your environment in terms of the PEOPLE you surround yourself with can have a huge impact on your health and how easy it is to stick to the decisions you know are best for you.

Many of us know that loneliness and boredom can lead to “emotional eating”, and some of you may be lucky enough to not fall victim to that impulse, but for me, it’s nearly impossible. In the past year and a half or so, as I have reflected on my happiness and healthiness levels in different situations, there is definitely a correlation.

In times of feeling stressed out, bored, unhappy, or lonely, I have a significant tendency to overeat or reach for comfort foods to fill that void. If I’m feeling happy and surrounded by people I care about and who I know care about me, healthy food and exercise feels more like a nice thing to add into my day rather than something I dread and then counteract immediately with junk.

My first home stay was good, and I wasn’t unhappy there, per se, but I don’t think I realized how lonely I was feeling until I switched families. My firsts hosts were extremely nice, good people, but their alternative schedule (eating dinner at midnight, staying up until 4AM on a regular basis, and not getting up until 4PM) left me sleep deprived and spending many, many hours alone and bored. Combining their schedule with how difficult it has been to make friends here led to lots of Netflix binges accompanied by my dear old buddies – potato chips, chocolate, and way too much pasta. The fact that vegetables were a rare component in their daily diet definitely didn’t help things, either.

My new family has a more conventional schedule, eating dinner around 8:30PM and going to sleep by 11. We eat regular meals with a great balance of vegetables, meat and starches, and they love to be outside and take advantage of the awesome outdoor activities that this amazing city offers. These basic shifts in my mini “environment” have made a HUGE difference on my overall happiness and wellness in the three short weeks since I moved. I feel lighter, healthier and more balanced. And since I’m surrounded with positive company (yet still have a good share of alone time), I haven’t had one chocolate/wine/potato chip overdose extravaganza in my time here, a major improvement from how I was spending many Friday nights in my previous apartment. My first hosts’ insane nocturnal schedule only fueled the fire on my lifelong habit of staying up too late for no logical reason. Now, since the whole family has gone to bed by 11pm, it makes me go to bed significantly earlier, too, realizing how ridiculous it is to stay up until 2AM on a Tuesday night.

Obviously, YOU and you alone are in charge of your own eating, sleeping and exercise habits, but being surrounded by positive, balanced and organized people who share your goals and outlook can make it SO much easier to stick to healthy choices.

This will be one of the many factors I will be consciously examining when I move back home in a few short weeks and begin building my life again from scratch. Those who you spend time with DO impact your routine and your choices more than you may realize, so its good to keep that in mind when you choose to spend time with. If you surround yourself with positivity, you may find yourself emulating those good vibes more than ever before.

Travel solo, or maintain your relationship? You DON’T have to choose

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Why Relationships and Independent Experiences are NOT Mutually Exclusive

I came across this article the other day that made me say YES, THANK YOU! Finally, someone else understands. The author describes her frustration with the common viewpoint that it’s impossible to travel alone without inviting infidelity into your relationship, and I whole-heartedly agree with her.

Contrary to popular opinion, traveling or living abroad and being in a happy, monogamous relationship are NOT mutually exclusive. Yes, it has been very difficult being thousands of miles away from the one I love, but it’s been worth it for all that I’ve learned and how much I’ve grown as a person. I’ve had more than a few critics and skeptics, both at home and here in Argentina, and it’s discouraging that so many people misunderstand and react judgmentally.

Traveling abroad solo is NOT always about intrigue and torrid affairs. It’s about challenging yourself, growing as an individual, getting out of your comfort zone, and discovering what you love about you.

Having been in a relationship for six years, starting at the age of 19, in some ways I felt that I hadn’t yet really experienced “grown-up” life without my boyfriend by my side, and it was important for me to know what it’s like to navigate the world on my own. In addition to the fact that coming to Argentina to teach English for a year was a very positive way for me to gain career experience, it was also an important step for me to take in terms of self-discovery and feeling comfortable as an independent individual.

However, it would have been completely insane to throw away an amazing relationship for the sake of my travels, or vice-versa. I knew I would regret it if I gave up this important personal experience for the sake of avoiding the challenges that come with being long-distance. So why not do both? It is, in fact, possible.

When we think of solo travel, we imagine what we see in movies or read in romance and adventure novels. Staying in beautiful villas or cool hostels, meeting sexy, exciting people from all over the world, riding a moped around a city bathed in golden sunset light, staying out all night dancing, etc. These are what we tend to picture. But the realities are often much different.

We don’t think about the feeling of empty dread in the pit of your stomach when you’re sitting alone on the plane, thinking “What the hell did I sign myself up for?” Or when you arrive in your new city and have to figure out how to get where you’re going, all in a new language. Or when you arrive at your new apartment and put your stuff away, only to realize, “Wow, I really am all alone here.” Or when you’ve been in a new city for a month, but still haven’t made any real friends. How you cope in those situations is what really makes the experience. It’s hard as hell, and often really not fun at all, but you learn a heck of a lot about yourself and about the realities of the world.

You may go out dancing a few times, which, yes, is fun. But the appeal of foreign clubs dwindles quickly when you realize that you’re surrounded by aggressive men who don’t give a shit if you have a boyfriend or not, the vast majority of which are far less charming and far more creeptastic than Javier Bardem or Hugh Grant would have you believe. After one wasted Sunday spent sleeping and reflecting on the fact that you felt more uncomfortable than carefree being in da club til 7AM, cooking dinner with friends and some wine is much more likely to become your Saturday night routine. (Or staying in and watching Netflix on your laptop alone…did I mention it’s pretty hard to make actual friends in a different country?)

The point is, what people picture when you tell them you’re going abroad solo and what you end up actually doing are very, very different.

If your relationship is worth it, it will be solid and filled with enough trust, respect and mutual understanding to withstand long periods of time apart. If it’s not, then yes, it could be better to break up and take on your adventures once you’re single. But if you have an important relationship, why can’t you have your individual experiences and maintain your bond, as well? It really doesn’t have to be one or the other.

I have met lots of people (mainly women), who have told me that they wish they could or would have done some independent travel of their own, but their boyfriend wouldn’t “let” them, or they didn’t want to be away from their significant other that long. I’m not saying it’s easy by any means, and it’s not for everyone. But if self-discovery and having independent experiences is important to you, and your mate is the right person for you, they will understand and be happy for you. And there’s no reason why you can’t do it.

There will always be that distant aunt who has no idea where you’re going and what you’re doing. Surely, she’s picturing you dancing the night away in a short red dress in Ibiza or something rather than living frugally, working with kids, and being lonely but learning a whole lot about the world. And surely, she and others will make snarky comments to you and your significant other about how they’re being played for a fool or how they’re sure to leave you while you’re away. But the important thing is that you and your significant other know and trust each other well enough to know that that couldn’t be farther from the truth. If that’s the case, you will emerge on the other side with a bond that is stronger than ever as a result of, rather than in spite of, your adventure.

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In the words of Kenny G, don’t let the haters stop you from doing your thang. We are young, and have plenty of time to settle down. Experience life, but don’t throw away a good relationship for the sake of doing so. If you put in the work, you really can have both.

Want to live abroad? Things to consider and where to start

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Since I’ve embarked on my adventures here, I have had several curious friends and acquaintances ask me about how I decided to come to Argentina, how I found my program, and basically, where to start if they were to begin a similar journey. I, too, was very confused at the start of this whole process, so I’ll try to share some knowledge and tips here to get you started if you are interested in teaching abroad or pursuing other abroad opportunities for an extended period of time.

  1. Know your Objective

Are you looking to travel? Teach? Escape from reality? Challenge yourself? Work in your current industry, but in a foreign city? Break into a new career field? Learn something knew? Generally frolic and go wherever the wind takes you? You could and probably do have more than one answer to that question, but knowing what you are hoping to get out of your experience will help guide you a lot. If you are a free-spirited wanderluster hoping to travel as much as possible and not be tied down in any one place, you might want to think twice before getting an actual job abroad, unless its at a hostel or some other more transient situation. If you are hoping to gain career experience, try to identify specifically what you’d like to learn and weigh that in your choice of job/program and location. If you don’t like kids, don’t choose to teach!

While browsing your options, it can be easy to fall into the mindset that the program or activity you will be doing while in your country of choice is just a means to an end in order to get yourself there. It’s important to realize that while you will surely be experiencing your new country like a big adventure, you will also have to actually work and deal with realities of daily life while you’re there, so it’s important to choose a path to living abroad that you will genuinely enjoy.

  1. Consider your Budget/Income Possibilities

Obviously, you will need some savings to travel/live abroad, no matter what you are actually going to be doing. However, different approaches require different budgeting plans, ideas of income, and how you will support yourself.

General Travel/Backpacking

If you have a whole bunch of savings set aside for this purpose, you are good to go, and can explore options such as general backpacking/hostel jumping from place to place, with the expectation of maybe picking up an odd-job here and there. This may sound dubious, but trust me, especially in Latin America, people don’t care so much about “breaking the rules” and you will probably be able to find some sort of part-time work, whether its in a hostel or restaurant or teaching private English lessons.

Teaching

If you are interested in teaching abroad, there are tons of options, and you need to narrow down what works best for you in terms of your goals and your budget. Many programs pay you a small “salary” (often in the range of approximately $700-800 USD per month), but then you are responsible for finding your own housing and living off that stipend plus whatever other savings you want to support yourself on. In many Latin American countries, that amount is enough to pay a modest rent and live frugally, but if you want to travel or go out it’s very likely you will need either a side hustle or savings.

Some programs, like mine, offer you room and board in exchange for your work, but pay you next to nothing, in which case savings or side hustle are also necessary for any expenses beyond the basics.

There are also lots of people who avoid going through a program all together and complete a TEFL course (either online or in their destination) which then helps them search for jobs. This could end up being more lucrative in the long-run if you score an actual job at a local school or language institute, but you also have to consider the stress/your backup plan if you end up being able to land a job because often times, TEFL courses will “assist” you with a job search, but don’t guarantee you’ll get one.

The “flying solo” approach is similar to the TEFL course option, although I’d only recommend this to people who either have already taught abroad in the past, or are very familiar with their destination and have contacts there/a very strong backup plan.

Other Options

There are many alternatives to teaching abroad, such as volunteering, interning, or some other form of work experience, and may allow you to customize the length of time you want to stay in a certain place. The budget you’ll need for these different options varies, but many of them offer housing/food in exchange for volunteer work (such as WWOOFING or various NGO’s).

Some organizations that accept volunteers cover your food and housing, some pay you a small stipend but require you to find your own housing and buy your own food, and others may be purely volunteer based, and offer no payment or benefits. This brings us back again to objective: do you REALLY want to work in a specific area for a specific cause, and have savings with which you could support yourself? Or is reimbursement a pre-requisite to you being able to go? If you look long and far enough, you may be able to find something in between.

Finally, of course, if you are able to get an actual job-job abroad, you will be making a real salary and then your hurdles will have more to do with getting a work visa in your country of employment rather than figuring out how you will feed yourself.

  1. Choosing your Destination (General and Specific)

If you are seriously considering moving or traveling abroad for an extended period of time, chances are you have a destination (or few) in mind. Just like in steps 1) and 2), it is important to consider the realities of daily living in a different country and your objective there rather than just focusing on daydreams inspired by Pinterest and postcards.

All places, even beautiful, seemingly other-worldly ones, have risks, annoyances, and cultural differences that will greatly shape your experience when you actually get there. I’m sure you don’t want to move abroad to a miserable place, but it’s important to realize that the way you envision a place may not be 100% accurate.

Is your objective to learn and gain experience or to forget your worries and have a blast? I personally struggled a lot when deciding between teaching in Spain or in Latin America. Having studied abroad in Spain in college, I fell in love with the place and have been daydreaming about returning ever since I left. However, I knew that I would likely learn a lot more and have perhaps a more enriching experience if I went to Latin America. Ultimately, I chose the latter. While I have certainly had moments of being like, “Wow, Spain probably would be a whole lot nicer and more relaxing than what I’m experiencing right now…”, I still think I 100% made the right choice. While living in Argentina has been a lot more gritty and challenging than my time in Spain, I have learned a whole lot more from the experience. My satisfaction with my decision goes back to my original goal, which was to get out of my comfort zone, learn, and grow as a person, and I’m happy to say that I have done just that.